weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
