Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
