I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
