you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
