I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The feeling are messing with the penis
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
