Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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