please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
