no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just gift wrapped bread.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
