her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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