Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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