I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
