I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
