Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
