I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
