no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
