Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
