Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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