Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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