So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
