My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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