I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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