I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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