We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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