she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
