Christians are straight up FREAKS
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
