That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
