I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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