a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
