O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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