I wanna bring you to show and tell
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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