btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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