it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
