Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize