Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
