The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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