it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just had sex on a roof
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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