Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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