I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
