Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
