maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize