I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
whose parrot is this?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
