handjob tips. give me some.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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