Where is the hickey?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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