Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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