dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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