the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
