Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
