What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
