it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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