It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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