Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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