I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
