My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
