dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
P.S. I can't hear my feet
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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