Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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