He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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