can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
