You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
