I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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