If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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