So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
