Umm I'm too high to move.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
