Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
