Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
