yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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