id be glad to
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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