Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
